" As Christians, we don't define success by how much money we make. " 

I would have said I believed that to be true about myself until recently.  You see, the past couple years I have been living a comfortable life.  I had found a job I LOVED & it was paying a solid amount for a single 24-26 year old.  Win Win, right?  

Well last month, I lost that job... to some degree out of no where. Talk about a humbling reality, and dealing with the stages of grief. My main source of freedom and security, my plan for preparing for my future, was pulled off my table with one simple phone call. And at first, I thought that was going to be the biggest thing I had to figure out.

However, I realized this past couple weeks, a deeper issue.  

The amount of money I was making - which in reality was not some huge amount -  was a piece of what I was putting my identity in. 

I felt as if I had reached a level of success because I could do all the things adults do with out having to worry about my bank account - buy my own groceries, pay my own bills, buy a car, make payments on the car, go out to dinner, have Amazon Prime and use it regularly. 

I'll admit, I have come to love getting packages in the mail, because I had never before been able to afford random online shopping for luxuries. 

I didn't notice that I was SO PROUD that I no longer had to randomly ask my parents for money -- of course unless it’s my birthday or Christmas, because I haven't yet figured out what to ask for as gifts in my adult life -- and that I had officially become a self sufficient human.  Don't get me wrong, I think that it is important that I have gotten here, I just don't think its okay that I was unknowingly loving being the girl who could buy her friends gifts all the time and, though I thought it was from a place of love, I think it was actually coming from a deep pit of pride. 

Making money isn't bad. Living a comfortable life isn't bad.  Being more proud of myself than I was thankful for the blessings God had handed to me, that's bad. 

This loss has brought me to a new understanding of what it needs to look like to rely more on Christ than I rely on myself.  It has shown me how much I have been blessed, and what is actually important.  And I am completely blessed that I was at a place where I already had a second job, so I am not in a desperate place of immediate need. (Insert Praise Hands here.) 

I’m sad that I lost my position at ABLE, but I am actually really thankful at the same time because it is pushing me into a deeper desire for relationship with the Lord. And that is ultimately what I desire a successful life to be.  A life that is lead by motivation to seek first the Kingdom of God and where I notice the blessings of this life regularly. 

Relatable quote - "WE DON'T HAVE A FINANCIAL PROBLEM, WE HAVE A PRIORITY PROBLEM"